What Therapists Mean When They Say “I’ll Adapt Sessions to You”

When we as therapists say that we'll “adapt the sessions to you” it can sound reassuring but also a bit vague and you might be wondering what that actually means in practice.

For myself, it means that therapy has no fixed formula and it’s a relationship that responds to who you are and how you move through the world, exploring what helps you to feel safe to be able to engage fully in the emotional vulnerability of therapy.

Below are some ways myself and your therapist might apply this sentiment in practice:

Your background, identity, and culture matter

I’m always holding in mind your background, personal identity, and cultural context. These shape how you express emotion, how you relate to authority, what feels safe to share, and what might feel exposing or unfamiliar.

Therapy doesn’t happen in a vacuum and who you are and your experiences will inform how we will work together.

Personality structure, temperament and neurodiversity

I don’t diagnose, but I do pay attention to patterns in how you relate, how you protect yourself and how you respond under stress. Different people have different personality structures and temperaments, and those differences matter. Those who are neurodiverse may also have their own way of processing.

Some people think out loud, some people appreciate quiet reflection. Some people are more expressive, whilst others are more contained. None of this is anything that needs fixing or changing, but they help inform the therapy about what might be helpful vs not so helpful for you.

Silence isn’t one-size-fits-all

Silence can be deeply reflective for some people, offering space to feel, think, and notice what’s happening internally. For some, therapy is the first place they have had all week where they can gather their thoughts and pay attention to themselves.

For others, silence can feel uncomfortable or even threatening, especially if it echoes past relationships where silence meant withdrawal, punishment, or being left alone with big feelings.

For this reason, I will adapt and pay attention to the use of silence because I want it to be something we use together and not something that is forced upon you.

Pacing and the nervous system

Therapy is paced with your nervous system in mind. I’m constantly tracking whether things feel too fast, too much, or not enough and subtly adjusting my own tone, energy, and presence in response. Sometimes you might not notice me doing this, but it might mean slowing down, grounding, or adding more structure.

Getting comfortable matters

Adaptation also happens in the small, very human details, and I want you to be comfortable. It is welcomed by me if you want to take your shoes off, sit on the floor or shift position as much as necessary.

Adapting sessions isn’t about no boundaries, but it is about responsiveness to the unique individual you are, and it's important you can feel settled into the therapy space.

These are just some of the ways we as therapists might adapt a session. We might also adapt a session based on which therapeutic approach we follow, but I'll write about that in a future post. For now, I’d be curious to hear from other therapists and clients if you think there is something you would like to see space held for in the therapy room that you think might be missing.